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Episode 101  |  33:06 min

Negotiation Questions That Win And How To Use Them

Episode 101  |  33:06 min  |  09.16.2019

Negotiation Questions That Win And How To Use Them

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This is a podcast episode titled, Negotiation Questions That Win And How To Use Them. The summary for this episode is: <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">There are few people I know who are as competent and smart about how the negotiation questions we use impact the way the conversation goes than Dan Oblinger. Dan’s experience as a hostage negotiator coupled with his drive to understand the impact of deep listening is at the root of this superpower. He’s a fount of nuanced knowledge and he shares it so generously during this conversation.</span></p> <p><span style="font-weight: 400;">We talk about what he calls “Garbage questions” and why they are so bad, why we need to ask questions that deserve to be answered, and how we can KNOW we are utilizing the best questions possible. There is so much information in this episode you should listen to it twice — and take notes both times! Enjoy!</span></p> <h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">Outline of This Episode</span></h2> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">[2:05] Dan Oblinger’s insights into the role of negotiators and the power of negotiation</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">[4:22] Most of the questions you ask are based on your preferred approach (and it’s horrible)</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">[5:59] How can we ask questions that deserve to be answered?</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">[13:01] Why questions are super risky but the simplest path to deep emotional responses</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">[15:07] Are there ways to over-empathize as you ask questions</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">[20:13] How to keep emotions in check when conversations begin to escalate</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">[26:55] Why you need to treat the other person’s story with respect</span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">[31:06] Curiosity is at the heart of good questions — and it requires humility</span></li> </ul> <h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">Connect with Dan Oblinger</span></h2> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style="font-weight: 400;">Dan’s website:</span> <a href="https://masterlistener.com/"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">https://masterlistener.com/</span></a><span style="font-weight: 400;"> </span></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><a href= "https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-oblinger-speaks"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Dan Oblinger on LInkedIn</span></a></li> </ul> <h2><span style="font-weight: 400;">Connect With Mark</span></h2> <ul> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Follow Negotiations Ninja on Twitter:</span> <a href="https://twitter.com/NegotiationPod"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">@NegotiationPod</span></a></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Connect with Mark</span> <a href= "https://www.linkedin.com/in/markraffan/"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">on LinkedIn</span></a></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Follow Negotiations Ninja</span> <a href= "https://www.linkedin.com/company/negotiations-ninja-podcast"><span style="font-weight: 400;"> on LinkedIn</span></a></li> <li style="font-weight: 400;"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">Connect on Instagram:</span> <a href= "https://www.instagram.com/negotiationpod/"><span style= "font-weight: 400;">@NegotiationPod</span></a></li> </ul> <p><a href="https://plinkhq.com/i/1300435924"><strong>Subscribe to Negotiations Ninja</strong></a></p>

There are few people I know who are as competent and smart about how the negotiation questions we use impact the way the conversation goes than Dan Oblinger. Dan’s experience as a hostage negotiator coupled with his drive to understand the impact of deep listening is at the root of this superpower. He’s a fount of nuanced knowledge and he shares it so generously during this conversation.

We talk about what he calls “Garbage questions” and why they are so bad, why we need to ask questions that deserve to be answered, and how we can KNOW we are utilizing the best questions possible. There is so much information in this episode you should listen to it twice — and take notes both times! Enjoy!

Outline of This Episode

  • [2:05] Dan Oblinger’s insights into the role of negotiators and the power of negotiation
  • [4:22] Most of the questions you ask are based on your preferred approach (and it’s horrible)
  • [5:59] How can we ask questions that deserve to be answered?
  • [13:01] Why questions are super risky but the simplest path to deep emotional responses
  • [15:07] Are there ways to over-empathize as you ask questions
  • [20:13] How to keep emotions in check when conversations begin to escalate
  • [26:55] Why you need to treat the other person’s story with respect
  • [31:06] Curiosity is at the heart of good questions — and it requires humility

Connect with Dan Oblinger

Connect With Mark

Subscribe to Negotiations Ninja

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